I had forgotten all about it because I remember very little and probably choose to forget the messy parts. When he addressed how upset I was as a first topic in our car ride conversation, I laughed. I hadn't had a second thought about it, but that was part of the problem.
I explained to my husband that, usually when an event like a knife being removed from my hands happens, and I scream because of it, there have been at the very least, two other previous problems, both of which I said nothing about and have mostly forgotten. So subconsciously, I'm thinking would-you-believe-he's-doing-this-again?! And react as such. Big. Problem.
"The truth is, you like being in charge of everything," I rebutted.
I can't say in control, that has a horrible stigma, but in charge and in control mean the same thing here. I like to believe that my husband and I are somewhat evenly in charge of what happens in our collective lives (including our two children) but that doesn't change the fact that the truth is exactly what I said to him.
He had taken the knife out of my hands because he didn't like how I was cutting up the chicken.
I'm sure at multiple points over the past eleven years my husband has taken things out of my hands to be helpful. I was probably struggling and he helped me and made life easier and I was probably grateful. This time, though I don't exactly remember how I reacted, it probably included a fuck and a you in no particular order.
Twice now since our car conversation, I've caught him and said something immediately: "I'm not done with this spoon yet," and "you just removed the box of candles out of my hands."
It's bizarre isn't it? Such a silly thing in the span of a marriage to be included in a car ride conversation. But they're mostly silly things, the ones we have to take time to think about, talk about, to care about, to resolve again and again so that we can continue to love each other for all the other silly things.